Days To Launch: 1
Dear, Dear Readers. I know I can count on your continued support.
I composed a phrase today that I think describes my situation perfectly: it is always darkest before dawn. Tomorrow will be the shining dawn of the launch. The mini quiches are ready, the rose wine is chilling and the first copies of Pink As Perfume, my romance-thriller, will be unpacked as the day breaks.
I should be excited, but I'm not. This is the dark night of my soul. I'm at a secret location with the bare minium of hair and makeup products, and I am alone. I will not post again on this blog until after the launch. I've had to leave the safe-house to come to a public internet cafe in disguise (such is my fear for my safety) and I will not take that risk again until the book has made it into the public eye.
Carlos, where are you? Sherlock, where are you? Are my worst fears true? Never mind. Adorna will continue.
Socrates. You have been quiet of late. If you still require a declaration, this is it. I am alone now. There is no-one else. It's you that I want. Will I see you at the launch? Will you be my hero?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
7 comments:
Have you seen what he is posting about you? Don't go off line, Adorna, stay and defend yourself.
http://shoscombe.blogspot.com/2008/11/i-have-become-character-in-bad-novel.html
Will no-one stand up for this woman?
Adorna, a dog is for life, not just for Christmas. And so is my pledge of devotion for you. I will wear your favour. I will fight the good fight.
Call me. You know the number.
Adorna
I hope you read this comment before you go offline. I was in a bookshop this afternoon, checking to see if copies of your forthcomming and much anticipated novel: Pink As Perfume were in stock yet. There were two other men hanging around the S section in fiction - a man in a well cut suit with a European accent, and a man wearing a pair of black, WW2 era goggles. They seemed to be discussing you, and their plans for tomorrow.
Please contact me and let me know you got this message. I dare not post my name in case your rivals read it: I'm scared for you, Adorna.
Please, please contact me. Please. I have more information. I will help you.
You know who I am. Think back to your days at Bunny Heaven. I'm the one who always brought his own carton of custard. You still have my number, I trust?
Mr. O
Adorna:
RE: Your launch tomorrow. I've been rining your appartment all day, and no answer.
Do you want prawn, or mushroom mini quiches? Let me know - otherwise I'll do half of each. You're not friends with any crazy vegetarians, are you?
Robert
P.S Carlos rang this afternoon to check everything was in order. He was particularly interested in the fire exits, for some reason. Please tell me you're not planning some kind of flame throwing stunt, like last time? My insurance is already through the roof!
MY EYE IS UPON YOU
ooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
BLOOD WILL OUT
ooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooo
HERE LIES ONE WHOSE NAME WAS WRIT ON WATER
ADORNA I AM HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ADORNA BE MY DEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!
ADORNA I WILL LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
ADORNA I WILL PULSE YOU!!!!!!
YOU ARE MY EVERGREEN DREAM!!!
YOU ARE MY CANDY FLIP SUPER TROOPER!!!!!
ADORNA TOUCH ME SQUEEZE ME, BE MY MATTRESS, BE MY BUTTRESS, EASE MY PAIN, FUCK MY BRAIN!!!!!
Adorna
I hate to break the news but I think I saw Carlos. With someone else.
I know what you're going through, fellow lady writer. The film rights to my novel 'Me, Tim and my Quim' (a penetrating psycho-sexual romance comedy) were bought by Paramount and scandalously misused. It will soon be appearing in cinemas under the vile guise 'Me, Ted and my Head', whatever that means, and starring the insufferable Cameron Diaz. Suffice to say the excruciating breakdown sequence has been replaced with a VW Beetle chase down the Fulham road.
If you need any assistance in affecting your revenge I have the 'equipment'.
(By which I mean some hammers)
Posie and Out!
xxx
Post a Comment