Tuesday, 11 November 2008

The Fine Art of Self Promotion

My friend, the author Mr Broomington, taught me all I know about presentation. Not of the page, but of the self.

He was more of a mentor than a teacher, and more of a friend than a mentor, and much, much more to me than a friend. Our relationship encompassed mind, soul, and (if the price was right) body. He liked his ladies scrubbed, smiling, and silent, and it was in the spirit of the first two, if not the last (sorry, my dear, and RIP!) that I did a minor bit of gate-crashing at the Blog Labs on Saturday and took the opportunity to read an extract from Pink as Perfume.

Here it is, fans.

She fired six shots.

She does not know how many bullets actually left
her gun.

She does not know how many hit Target 1.

She has never
been good at Math, at percentages, proportions or probabilities.

All she
knows is that Target 1 slumped. Became Victim 1.

And that the person who
did the shooting has now become the most wanted person in the whole of the City.

And that Victim 1 is now stranded on the thin line between Life and


Better luck next time.


Much darker than my usual work, I know. A total departure, they said. I think it's all down to Carlos - he's helped me dig deep and bring forth words into the light that I never knew existed - sometimes literally!

Good old Broomington - I'd have never have had the courage to stand up there and orate the way I did if it wasn't for his tuition in my early days. He'd have been disgusted at some of the outfits on show, he really would. One man in particular... but that's another story, and one you will hear from me later in the week.

Adieu... Adore Adorna until she returns!


The Coffee Lady said...

Amazing work! I have so many questions!

What was the shooter wearing?

Socrates Adams-Florou said...

Every word you right is like a drop of flowered honey caressing my filthy mind.

sarah said...

do you write in pink ink straight onto the page?

Adorna Shine - Writer said...

Patience patience, and all will be revealed.

My work is like a fine ganache - it simply cannot be rushed!

Socrates - how kind. I think of my work as slightly 'floral' too.

Sarah - I very rarely write longhand. I type, very slowly, and sometimes dictate to Carlos. When I do write, I tend to use a fountain pen filled with Rose Scented ink - that way there is at least some advantage to the inconvenience of getting it all over your hands...


Socrates Adams-Florou said...

What is so god damned special about Marcus?

Adorna Shine - Writer said...


is this a serious question? I've been noting a touch of disgruntlement in your tone recently. Perhaps I can ease your worries by sending you a proof copy of 'Pink As Perfume' for your review?

And as for Carlos - he has many talents, not the least of which is the ability to grate cheese on his abdominal muscles and crack walnuts in his bare hands.

You never know when *that* might come in handy.


Adorna Shine

Socrates Adams-Florou said...

Adorna, don't get me wrong, I am only angry because I love you so much. Love your writing so much. I just think that maybe carlos doesn't realise how special you are. I know he's great looking and a good guy but does he warm your heart? Does he warm your heart?

Waffarian said...

You are so full of shit...

Why don't you tell your fans who REALLY wrote that? huh?


Adorna Shine - Writer said...


my heart lacks the warming it needs. You are right.

I need you. Are you free? Can you help me?

I think you can see what my problem is.

Yours faithfully

Adorna Shine xxx

Socrates Adams-Florou said...

I am right here.
I am wherever you need me.
I am infected with the disease of your love.